For the third consecutive year, ESPN has asked me to provide you, dear hockey fan and fantasy enthusiast, with the most unique, clever and funny fantasy hockey team names. You demand the best, you shall receive the best. Time to put my creative hat on.
Last year produced some bangers, like Boba in Nett, Escape from Barkov and Fyre Festerkin -- how am I possibly going to top that? It took me all summer, several hours per day in my isolation chamber (Canada), but we got there. I'm ready to give you the goods.
Because listen, you can't win your fantasy league with a mid name. Akira SchMID just isn't going to cut it. We need some sizzle with that steak. Look good, feel good, play good, get paid good, you know what I'm talking about (actually that's a paraphrased Deion Sanders quote but it still applies).
So here we go, my third annual Extremely Official ESPN Fantasy Hockey Name Offering. If you use one, please credit me weekly on X (formerly Twitter) @Arda. Actually, let's start with that category:
Social Media
Elon DeBrusk
Mark Tucherberg
InstaDirkGraham
Nashville Threadators
Mason What'sAppleton
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Miscellaneous
As Gudas it gets
I was saying Budaj
GET TO DA PROPP-A
Wu Letang Clan
HBO Max Domi
Hall, Taylor Swift
Connor McBedard
UFCeci
May Day May Day
I was Olli Jokinen
We Don't talk about Bruno Gervais
The Family Madri-Gallant
Mira-Bellows
Star Wars
Ahsoka Dano
Ahsoka Cogliano
Ahsoka Giordano
Ahsoka Milano
Sabine Schenn
Schenn Hati
Baylan Stoll
Hera Cagiulla
Grand Admiral Thrun
Grand Admiral Kron
Zack Kassian Andor
New York Rangers of the New Republic
Jimmy Carson Teva
Ezra Mel Bridgman
Morgan Reilly Elsbeth
Josh Hu-Yang
Evander Kane-an Jarrus
WWE
Roman Patrick Kanes
Paul Zach Hyman
Evander That's Gotta Be Kane
LA Hilary Knight
Rhea Mike Ridley
Anders Bjork Lesnar
Logan Paul Stastny
Jake Logan Nick Paul
Jimmy and Jey Ville Husso
Kevin Owens Power
Bianca Benoit Allaire
The Ultimate Orr-ier
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Hearthstone Battlegrounds
Rockpool Dale Hunter
Eternal Spencer Knight
Patient Scout
Spawn of Enroth
Bartender Bob McKenzie
Shot Deflect-O-Bot
Hnidy Bootlegger
TarecHossa
Eichel Jack Metalhead
Erik Brannstrom Bronzebeard
Bristleback Spencer/Hilary Knight
ESPN Personalities
Randy Scott Stevens
Michael Patrick Eaves
Dimitry Orlov-ski
Jay Jordan Harris
Scott Van couver Canucks
Gary SKrejci
Devon Setoguchi's Overtime Challenge
Field Skates
Cristina Alexander Ovechkin
Max Domi McGee
Hannah Guelph Storm
John Anderson's Hamburgers
Kevin Connors McDavid
Greg KrushelWyshynski
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