It's time for the dumbest preseason tradition: Our ninth annual League Pass Rankings!
These are not power rankings! They are watchability scores derived from an ancient formula that revealed itself to Bill Simmons when he played one Pearl Jam album backward.
We reward teams between one and 10 points in each of five categories:
Zeitgeist: Do normal people care about this team?
Highlight potential/Star power: Do you linger on games because one player might do something amazing?
Style: Do they run cool plays?
League Pass minutiae: On a random night in January, sharp jerseys and funny announcers perk you up.
Unintentional comedy: Blame Simmons -- and maybe the 2010-11 Washington Wizards.
30. Oklahoma City Thunder (19 points)
It's tough sledding when you are the only team in your conference not trying to win.
Even amid the losing and sometimes homerish broadcast, there is fun to be had. After playing a hybrid role last season, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander gets the keys. He is one of the league's shiftiest ball handlers. I'm not sure any player moves with the same arrhythmic dexterity:
Stop it.
Does he move like this in normal life? Does he change pace strolling the sidewalk? Do bystanders bump into him?
He's like an optical illusion. Limbs appear governed by separate nervous systems. Parts of Gilgeous-Alexander's body seem to move at different speeds in the same moment.
Gilgeous-Alexander might struggle some carrying this huge burden on a bad team, but every second will be entertaining.
Darius Bazley has a nice feel, and launched with confidence in the bubble.
The Thunder's snazzy new city edition duds -- don't miss the mini-Oklahoma on the belt buckle! -- continue a nice sartorial streak for a franchise that once brought up the rear in NBA art:
They tweaked their court, shrinking the baseline wordmark and squeezing it onto one side:
I'm not sure it works, but it's interesting! It might be time for a court design overhaul, though.
Please enjoy human cinder block Luguentz Dort harassing opposing scorers every night. Imagine running on fumes on a back-to-back and having this NFL safety bumping you up and down the floor? I might take the game off.
If the Thunder don't sell Dort mini-license plates, I'm rigging this column so they finish last again.
29. Cleveland Cavaliers (20)
I kinda like the much-derided rock-themed jerseys -- especially the shorts, which feature mock concert tour pins and the Cleveland skyline set against a white guitar pick:
It's not as if the Cavs have some illustrious history of uniforms being sullied here. At least they are trying to be bold.
The foursome of Collin Sexton, Darius Garland, Kevin Love, and Andre Drummond will feast on offense some nights. In 32 games starting Jan. 1, Sexton averaged 23 points on almost 50/40/90 shooting. I don't care if he still didn't pass enough, that's not easy to do. Sexton's bouts of tunnel vision score in the comedy category, since alert viewers might catch Cleveland's veterans rolling their eyes and extending their hands well after Sexton shoots in mock anticipation of passes that never come.
Garland heaves Lillardian long-distance 3s. Kevin Porter Jr. has stop-and-start guile. Larry Nance Jr. is a NBA nerd's delight -- all flare screens, extra passes, and rebound tip-outs. It might be rare given Cleveland's bevy of wings, but I hope we glimpse Nance as the nominal small forward alongside Love and Drummond after the Nance/Love/Tristan Thompson gigantor look succeeded late last season.
Austin Carr's cackling might cure coronavirus.
28. Detroit Pistons (20.5)
You won't find many crews more in tune with their team than George Blaha, Greg Kelser, and Johnny Kane in Detroit. Blaha is one of the all-time great play-by-play guys, period.
The Pistons punted the comedy category when they waived Dzanan Musa, the league's most irrationally confident player. We still get to watch Josh Jackson walk the line between aggression and madness.
The prospect of Killian Hayes is exciting now. Hayes drowning against defenses geared to stop him won't be as exciting in a month. (That's not a slight. The NBA overwhelms most rookie point guards on rebuilding teams. The Pistons have very little reliable shooting around him. There will be a lot of meandering Mason Plumlee post-ups. It will still be interesting to monitor Hayes' learning curve.)
Blake Griffin can serve as Hayes' co-lead-playmaker, and if the basketball gods are just, they will give us an All-Star-level Blake season -- hopefully leading to a contender rescuing him. Jahlil Okafor has navigated obstacles, some of his own making, and gets a chance to save his career. We'll learn more about Sekou Doumbouya. Maybe Jerami Grant will prove naysayers wrong, and tread water in the scoring role he sought leaving Denver -- a role for which he appears underqualified.
I don't hate these new jerseys:
Sure, it's boring and derivative. But slap "Motor City" on anything, and it becomes 20% cooler. It's hard to notice from a distance, but those are tire tread marks inside the red stripes running down the sides.
27. Orlando Magic (22.5)
The algorithm has lost interest.
The 427 of us who regularly watch the Magic can close our eyes and visualize it all: Evan Fournier rounding a Nikola Vucevic screen on the left wing, and rising for a midranger; slow pace, methodical half-court offense, pristine transition defense (important, but, yawn); the Magic never getting to the foul line but also never fouling, so at least games are crisp; a 4-1 loss in the first round.
I will miss Jonathan Isaac being in four places at once on defense, blanketing suckers at every position. Markelle Fultz's jumper isn't as much of a curiosity anymore. (Fultz going from 57% to 73% at the line last season went under the radar.) Mo Bamba, hoped-for cornerstone, is out indefinitely. Doesn't it feel as if Aaron Gordon will fulfill his basketball destiny somewhere else -- like he's killing time in Orlando now?
Chuma Okeke and Cole Anthony should liven up the proceedings. Michael Carter-Williams roared back into relevancy as a marauding off-ball guard and irritant on defense. (Seriously: He ended up bleeding a lot.) Vucevic clowns people with some of the league's most sophisticated pivot work. He's going to bust out a Sikma one day. (Look it up.)
The art is top-notch. David Steele and Jeff Turner are insightful and funny on the call.
26. Charlotte Hornets (23)
It's surprising Charlotte isn't higher given the LaMelo Show and Miles Bridges hunting bodies at the rim atop a gorgeous honeycombed court. The Hornets updated that court dramatically, swapping purple for teal in the painted areas and stenciling a white honeycombed pattern within them:
Is that too many hexagons? I think it might be. I'm generally not a fan of varying shades of hardwood, but the cleaner wood inside the arc -- sans honeycombs -- works here.
Ball should jolt a team that somehow ranked dead last in pace despite starting two small guards -- Terry Rozier and Devonte' Graham -- and often playing super-small lineups. Ball's passing is electric. Even his turnovers will be the thrilling product of flying-too-close-to-the-sun ambition.
Gordon Hayward brings needed secondary playmaking to the starting five. That isn't Rozier's strong suit, and Graham wore down under the weight of being a primary option. Combine all three with the promising P.J. Washington, and Charlotte's half-court offense should hum with more verve.
They rarely foul -- always a plus. Free throws are boring. Their mint green city edition jerseys are unique and crisp. The new mint court might be too minty:
Dell Curry drops X's-and-O's knowledge, but the broadcast overall is saccharine. The Hornets can be down 20, and they go into Lt. Frank Drebin mode: "Nothing to see here!"
25. Indiana Pacers (24)
I apologize on behalf of the algorithm. Every year, the Pacers are rock solid -- with a rock-solid broadcast team -- and every year the algorithm hates them. The algorithm is aware Indy probably will play faster under Nate Bjorkgren, with more creativity in the half court.
The lack of star power hurts. If Victor Oladipo doesn't rediscover the hunched fury of his All-NBA campaign, what holds the casual fan's attention? I love the Doug McDermott-Domantas Sabonis two-man game, but that's a tough sell to normies. Sabonis' throwback viciousness in the post -- bullying switches, sneering down at failed floppers -- is welcome.
T.J. Warren's old-school scoring has more conventional appeal -- midrange pull-ups, silky floaters, smart cuts, and now more 3s. But he's not a high-flyer, and has been mostly a No. 2 option outside his bubble eruption.
Aaron Holiday is the little guy who plays as if he's the biggest dude on the court -- hurtling toward the rim, and trying to finish through larger humans. He added change-of-pace craft last season:
Keep improving, and Holiday has a chance to be a big part of Indiana's future.
I'm officially bored by the Pacers' art. It all looks the same. I appreciate the franchise's restraint. The game is sacred in Indiana, and the Pacers treat it with reverence. Just jazz it up a little. The Hoosiers-themed "Hickory" uniforms of recent years -- including one with red tops and contrasting golden shorts -- were a welcome change of, umm, pace.
24. San Antonio Spurs (26)
The long overdue (like, what took so freaking long?) return of the 1990s-era Fiesta colors boosted these guys at least two spots:
Yeah, I think I prefer these to the Spurs' staid camouflage alternates. Look at that rowel -- which I just learned is the name for the pointy disc thingy at the top of a spur -- dotting the "i" in San Antonio! What detail. According to the team's website, this is the first time since 1989 that the words "San Antonio" have "been front and center" on a jersey. My god, Spurs: What have you been doing?
They even commissioned a Fiesta-themed floor!
On the court, San Antonio's contrasting styles will either mesh into something beautiful or leave us frustrated when the slower, old-fashioned one -- DeMar DeRozan and LaMarcus Aldridge -- subsumes the younger, frenetic one.
DeRozan and Aldridge are entertaining in their ways. DeRozan is a vintage midrange assassin with impeccable footwork and a pump fake that fools everyone.
But the Spurs pre-bubble played at a league-average pace. They lost the minutes Aldridge and DeRozan played together. Fealty to those two -- plus well-founded concerns about spacing -- made it hard for Gregg Popovich to play certain combinations of his kiddos.
Then Aldridge missed the bubble, and the Spurs played at a faster pace than any team in the league for the season. They still didn't shoot 3s, but they got to the rim and the line more, and forced more turnovers. They committed more too, but that's fine; the Spurs needed a chaos injection.
Derrick White and Dejounte Murray played more minutes together in eight bubble games than they did in the entire season before then combined. The Murray/White/Lonnie Walker IV trio logged all but six of its minutes in the bubble. Keldon Johnson bulldozed.
I'm fascinated to see how the Spurs meld everything. DeRozan played in the bubble, and is a willing passer. If Aldridge is happy jacking 3s, he can become a floor-spacing catch-and-shoot option for the Spurs' army of drivers. They ran over the Memphis Grizzlies in the opener Wednesday, and if that was a true representation of who these Spurs are, this ranking is going to look dumb.
The upside of a playoff team is here. Casual fans will soon find out how good Jakob Poeltl is. Drew Eubanks can play.
23. Sacramento Kings (27)
This is a huge season for De'Aaron Fox, having secured the proverbial bag. For some reason -- perhaps injuries and general Kingsy chaos -- Sacto had maybe the league's fastest guard playing at a middling pace last season. The upside: Fox honed his craft within the half court.
He set defenders up before using screens, confusing their feet with mean fakes and hesitation moves. He froze help defenders in the paint before blowing by them, passing around them, or drawing contact on his way to a career high in free throws.
The rest of his game plateaued. Fox didn't offer enough resistance on defense, and hit a career-worst 29% from deep.
If Fox can get all the elements of his game going at once, he could become a multiple-time All-Star -- and maybe more.
As I wrote here, Marvin Bagley III is another swing guy -- a potential superstar on offense. Buddy Hield jacked 13 3s per 36 minutes in the preseason, so he's ready. I'm stoked Tyrese Haliburton is about to be part of my life.
Mark Jones and Kyle Draper will be great on play-by-play.
22. New York Knicks (28)
People, people! Tom Thibodeau is striding the sidelines (wearing a mask, but still) in an empty arena! If the Knicks don't turn down courtside microphones, we are in for an audio spectacular every night.
No matter how bad the Knicks are, they get a boost here from their world-class broadcast team -- Mike Breen, Walt Frazier, Rebecca Haarlow -- and the theater lighting that makes Madison Square Garden feel like an epic stage.
It's not quite a make-or-break season for Frank Ntilikina, Kevin Knox II, and Mitchell Robinson, but we're getting there. Ntilikina and Robinson should get closer to maximizing their massive potential on defense under one of the greatest defensive coaches ever. (Ntilikina is already really good. Play him, Thibs! Robinson has longer to go honing fundamentals, but few people on earth can do the things he does athletically.)
RJ Barrett scored well in preseason and on opening night; if you squint, you can see lineups that might let him operate within at least semi-acceptable spacing -- groups featuring at least two of Immanuel Quickley, Obi Toppin, and Alec Burks/Austin Rivers/Reggie Bullock. Toppin should play some spot center in small (and terrible on defense) lineups, and could form an interesting big-big partnership with Julius Randle.
The comedy score will take a hit if we don't see James Dolan slouching in the stands like an uber-rich Droopy the dog during losses. There is always the potential of a Dolan-mandated post-blowout news conference that serves no purpose other than forcing New York's decision-makers to stand there looking like hostages.
The Knicks' city edition jerseys hurt my brain:
21. Minnesota Timberwolves (28.5)
Karl-Anthony Towns is at least a little slept on. Everyone is aware on some level that he is a great offensive player, but he is more than that. Towns is already in the conversation for most versatile scoring big man ever.
Just one example: There were three guys leaguewide last season who shot 38% or better on five-plus 3s per game and averaged at least one point per possession on post-ups (minimum 50 post touches): Towns, Jaylen Brown, and Danilo Gallinari. Brown barely met the criteria.
Towns shattered all of it: 41% from deep on 7.9 attempts per game, and almost 1.14 points per possession when he shot out of the post or passed to a teammate who fired -- eighth among all players, per Second Spectrum. He has hit between 79.6% and 85.8% of his free throws every season, and that is the only thing separating Towns from becoming the second traditional big man -- after Dirk Nowitzki -- in the 50/40/90 club.
He flies through the lane on offense with an uncommon combination of grace and explosion.
That agility has not translated to defense. Towns looks creaky and lead-footed there, and opponents will torture the D'Angelo Russell/Towns combination in the pick-and-roll. If you enjoy offense, flip to a Wolves game.
One caveat: Minnesota last season had the fattest negative discrepancy between the effective field goal percentage an average team "would" have recorded given the Wolves' shot distribution and the miserable number they actually posted. In other words: Minnesota takes analytics-friendly shots and misses them. That is some early Process-era Sixers energy.
It's optimal in theory but often miserable to watch. I vividly remember one possession when Robert Covington dribbled up the left wing with a defender in front of him and no teammates nearby, and flung up a triple for the hell of it. I wanted to puke.
Ricky Rubio is back to throw the most gorgeous no-look passes outside of Denver, Josh Okogie does obscene things on defense, the No. 1 pick is here, and the broadcast team is first-rate. So they've got that going for them, which is nice.
20. Houston Rockets (29)
The Rockets and James Harden are one entity, and the algorithm does not know how to account for the possibility Harden is traded. The Rockets would get players in return, and (maybe?) retain John Wall, Christian Wood, and whatever remains of DeMarcus Cousins' rare blend of monstrous power and nimble feet. That's ... something?
I understand why a lot of fans hate-watch Harden. He is a one-man stall, dribbling the air out of the ball and pausing for sweaty free throws. But that stasis gives you time to digest the schematic tricks defenses attempt -- machinations we've rarely seen, if ever -- to contain a one-of-a-kind isolation scorer. You can see, in real time, Harden downloading them and sifting through counters.
He's a great passer, with a knack for skipping bounce passes at weird angles -- including low-to-the-ground skimmers.
Wood is the most well-rounded big man pick-and-roll partner of Harden's career. He can pop for 3s, slice for lob dunks, pump-and-drive by slower centers, and abuse guards in the post on switches. (He needs to get more consistent at that last thing.) Wood, Wall, and Stephen Silas bring the promise of stylistic diversity after years of top-down, doctrinaire offense.
Will any of this move Harden? Will he pout? Will he, like, follow the COVID-19 protocols and play soon? Will he turn the team into a personal vehicle for his scoring -- more so than it already is?
19. Chicago Bulls (30)
I can't believe I'm saying this given my obsession with the Miami Heat's "Vice" jerseys, but these are the best city edition uniforms of 2020-21:
That gorgeous gold lettering with just the right amount of Bulls-red shadow is in an art deco font inspired by Chicago's architecture and signage at the United Center. The golden geometric pattern up the sides is intended to mimic art deco-style skyscrapers. There are Easter eggs, including teensy rivets.
I'm excited to see how Billy Donovan uses holdover players entering pivotal seasons -- including the big-man combo of Wendell Carter Jr. and Lauri Markkanen, with Patrick Williams, the No. 4 pick, breathing down Markkanen's neck. (Donovan is a downgrade in the comedy category from Jim Boylen, whose level of sustained crouching animation was impressive and maybe alarming. Also: Does the Leadership Council still exist? Was there a coup?)
For better or worse, Coby White has Cassells of steel. Zach LaVine's scattershot passing and defense are fair grist for nitpicking, but the dude can flat-out score. He's an above-average 3-point shooter on a difficult sample of attempts, and he hunts tin. Never turn away when LaVine has the ball -- or when he's lurking on the baseline for a sneaky cut, the most underrated part of his game. I dream of watching LaVine as second or third option alongside an elite passer.
Adam Amin and Stacey King should complement each other on the broadcast. If we're lucky, we'll see some Denzel Valentine floaters in the wild -- and maybe a few ultra-violent Chandler Hutchison dunks.
18. Utah Jazz (30.5)
That's low, huh? I guess this is the floor for a good team that nails the fundamentals (Behold that off-ball movement! What a pindown screen!) and has one superstar -- Donovan Mitchell -- who gets you out of your seat with ferocious cock-it-way-back one-handed dunks.
I love watching the Jazz, but they are an acquired taste.
Joe Ingles might be the league's preeminent agitator, though Facundo Campazzo will challenge for that crown. The Ingles-Derrick Favors pick-and-roll, now the centerpiece of Utah bench units, is high NBA art. There aren't many recurring NBA bits funnier than Ingles -- ground-bound and playing at what we'll politely call his own pace -- pass-faking a big guy five feet the wrong way, laying the ball in, and then looking back and laughing right in the dude's face. It's a miracle Ingles isn't in an altercation every game.
Utah had the league's most chaotic 2019-20 season in every sense, appearing to coalesce around one identity only to have it slip away due to injury, rotation churn, or something else. The Jazz dropped from fourth in assist rate in 2018-19 to 25th last season. Weird. Can they put it together and breach the inner circle of contenders?
Hypothesis: This year's "red rocks" uniform and court combination ...
... is a step down from the prior version.
I never want to hear the phrase "screen assist" again.
17. Washington Wizards (31)
This seems low too, but we're entering the range where teams are both good and entertaining.
The Russell Westbrook-Bradley Beal backcourt will be must-watch. Westbrook will dial the pace up to 11, and rampage in spread pick-and-roll -- especially when Scott Brooks pairs him with Beal and the Davis Bertans-Thomas Bryant super-shooting frontcourt. Bertans is one of the league's most audacious gunners -- he might fire from 30 feet over a double team -- and Bryant among its angriest dunkers.
Intriguing young guys abound: Bryant, the slithery Troy Brown Jr., and the young forward tandem of Deni Avdija and Rui Hachimura -- who might start together when Hachimura returns from an eye infection.
Robin Lopez always seems to be in the middle of some scrum, including as the mastermind of nefarious mascot attacks. He's an elite face-maker. His floor-sweeping ice-cream scoop hooks are among the league's most idiosyncratic shots.
Moe Wagner finished fourth in charges drawn despite playing only 835 minutes; he falls over a lot. He might be the cheeriest guy in the league. Microphones constantly catch him praising teammates. I have pitched the idea of a Moe Wagner Affirmation app, but he has not gotten back to me.
The Wizards' art remains drab. Anytime you can scrap a majestic white monuments-inspired jersey for this dull gray version, I guess you have to do it:
I enjoyed the chemistry between Justin Kutcher and Drew Gooden on the call last season. Gooden has the mix you want from a recently retired player: insight into current veterans, funny stories, and a willingness to be critical.
16. Toronto Raptors (32.5)
Toronto falling into the bottom half is the biggest upset of the early season. They turned fast-breaking into borderline operatic high art, with Kyle Lowry hurling full-body hit-aheads to Pascal Siakam and OG Anunoby streaking up the wings. Siakam's spin move is still fooling flatfooted victims.
I might watch a Nick Nurse cam. I am exhausted on his behalf at the end of every Toronto game. He is the best coach croucher, and it's not close:
I can hold a catcher's crouch for maybe 10 seconds. Nurse might be able to pull a whole game. I'd like to see him try, actually.
He's also a great coach who keeps viewers on their toes by busting out every zone defense in the book, and some so esoteric they've never been in any book. (They work, too.)
Matt Devlin has become the basketball voice of a nation. Jack Armstrong is one of the league's most beloved, generous, and funny personalities. If he wants to talk about beer for an entire quarter, I'm fine with that.
Lowry pisses off opponents by stretching the boundaries of the rulebook. Norman Powell is a turbocharged end-to-end demon. Matt Thomas is starting to inspire the kind of, "Oh crap, he's open!" shrieking, wide-eyed terror only true 3-point snipers instill.
I have never really liked Toronto's gold-and-black look, but in a cool nod to the past, the "Toronto" wordmark on their new city edition uniform uses the same font as the team's original Purple Dino jerseys:
15. LA Clippers (33)
Whoa! This is about as low as a title contender can fall, and perhaps an overreaction to the Clippers' bubble humiliation.
I'm a Kawhi Leonard true believer -- I voted him MVP in 2017 -- but were you ever really, like, giddy watching a Clippers game? It's strange. They played fast, posted the league's No. 2 offense, and went through long stretches of impenetrability on defense -- with Leonard lurking on the wing, bouncing on his toes, spooking ball handlers from throwing passes his direction.
Lou Williams will be fading left for midrangers at the YMCA into his 60s. Luke Kennard provides a new wrinkle. His ballhandling helped in the opener.
But the Clips aren't high-flyers. They don't carry the intrigue of a young up-and-comer. Their games feature tons of free throws. They manage their loads.
The Clips need the regular season to build cohesion -- forgot that part last year! -- but we pretty much know what the basketball looks like. We are waiting to see how they respond when someone punches them in the face again in the postseason.
Perhaps the algorithm rolls its eyes at Marcus Morris Sr.'s over-the-top enforcer role and Patrick Beverley fouling people at half court. (I look forward to the first Trail Blazers-Clippers game after Damian Lillard and CJ McCollum's epic Twitter roasting of the Clips.) Beverley is the league's most artistic flopper. He stiffens and tips over as if struck by lightning.
Jim Jackson is already one of the NBA's best analysts, and he joins the Clips' rotating TV crew.
14. Memphis Grizzlies (33.5)
And this might be low!
Everything starts with Ja Morant, one of the most exciting young guards of the past two decades: fearless, unselfish, well-rounded. How many rookies have the Smitty fake spin and one-handed lefty gather?
What about this pass fake?
He trash-talked Kyrie Irving in his first week in the league, and nearly murdered Kevin Love on live television. And yet: Even as Morant discovered how good he was -- as he gained fame and stardom -- he never played as if the Grizzlies belonged to him, or he cared about his numbers.
Jaren Jackson Jr. is the perfect tag-team partner for Morant. Jonas Valanciunas reminded everyone there is still a place for post brutes with soft touch. Dillon Brooks has the confidence of five normal men. He just wants to shoot Kobe shots and foul the hell out of people.
De'Anthony Melton took everyone's lunch money as part of a bench mob that obliterated opponents. Brandon Clarke might have the league's best floater. Grayson Allen is a villain out of central casting. Kyle "Slo-Mo" Anderson moves with a languid jaggedness all his own. Defenders still can't follow his steps.
The Grizz under Taylor Jenkins play a fast, pleasing style. Pete Pranica and Brevin Knight are outstanding on the broadcast. They do their homework, and play well off each other.
This Isaac Hayes-inspired jersey, complete with grooves designed to mimic vinyl records, is a masterpiece:
13. Atlanta Hawks (34)
I cannot wait to watch this team. The Hawks have a nice mix of veterans and kids, and after finishing dead last in 3-point accuracy last season, they can put a ton of shooting around Trae Young pick-and-rolls. You are not stopping this with three shooters around it:
That kind of zigzaggy chemistry is hard to find. John Collins won't get to play that screen-setting role as often starting alongside Clint Capela. Can Collins make enough outside-in plays at power forward? He hit 40% from deep last season, and looked comfortable attacking off the catch.
Danilo Gallinari will play a lot of power forward, too. That doesn't necessarily marginalize Collins; Lloyd Pierce can swap Gallinari in for Collins early, and bring Collins back for Capela -- making Collins de facto backup center. Still: That's a lot of talent jostling for time. The whole league is watching Collins ahead of his free agency.
Cam Reddish came on strong late last season with confident spinning dribbles. You feel Kris Dunn's defense through your screen. Young is a passing wizard. He can cede some ballhandling to Bogdan Bogdanovic, and morph into a Curry-esque roving menace.
The Hawks ditched the hideous "volt green" and feathering patterns, returning to their classic color scheme:
I love that side striping. Their alternate look honoring Martin Luther King Jr. strikes the appropriate tone, and (according to league officials) marks the first time a team has centered someone's name or initials on the front of a jersey:
That stained-glass mosaic is one of the prettiest pieces of NBA art I can recall.
12. Phoenix Suns (34.5)
The rising young team who frolicked in the bubble added the league's wiliest veteran star -- a winner who is not above alerting referees to the stray untucked jersey? I'm all in.
Welcome, latecomers, to the "Devin Booker Is A Star" club. Nice to have you.
Deandre Ayton is one of the most important young players in the league -- clay still being molded. He has made huge strides on defense; can he man the back line for a high-level playoff team? He does a bit of everything on offense, which can be a blessing and a curse for centers. Will he lean more into pick-and-pop 3s? Rim runs? High post passing? Can he get to the line more than a 3-point shooting specialist?
Mikal Bridges commits high crimes on defense. You don't see many perimeter players reject their own guy's shot:
That qualifies as bullying. That is what the overgrown kid does in youth leagues. That is Billy Madison, basically.
Dario Saric has always reminded me some of Boris Diaw in how he meanders from arc to rim with slow dribbles and butt-first half-spins -- and then slips canny interior passes. He can let his inner Diaw sing if Monty Williams continues to play him at backup center -- the role he played in the bubble.
Eddie Johnson holds nothing back on commentary.
11. Miami Heat (35)
In a league where it can seem everyone runs the same offense -- high pick-and-roll ad nauseam -- what a relief it is watching Bam Adebayo survey the floor as Duncan Robinson and Tyler Herro orbit him. It takes time for defenses to adjust to Miami's variety. It's like facing a knuckleballer.
Jimmy Butler can blend within that offense as one of the league's smartest cutters, and break from it for a bruising pick-and-roll. Butler always seems to have running feuds, which is fun. Herro's snarl was a breakout bubble star.
Andre Iguodala will find niches no one else sees as he grows familiar with Miami's ecosystem. We will meet KZ Okpala and Precious Achiuwa.
Just when an opposing offense finds its footing, the Heat flip schemes: zone, drop-back, switch everything. At the center of it all is Adebayo, stone-faced and icy cool, concerned only with winning, steadfast in his belief that he has an answer for everything and everyone.
Also: the Vice jerseys. Bury me in the Vice jerseys.
10. Portland Trail Blazers (35.5)
A barrage of Damian Lillard 30-footers is one of the most thrilling things in sports.
The pull-up triple is the keystone of Lillard's game. An overlooked subplot of his rise to superstardom is how Lillard has leveraged the threat of that shot to build, piece by piece, a devastating off-the-dribble arsenal. He gets to the rim and the line a ton. His lefty hesitation has piled up a lot of frozen, flat-footed victims.
CJ McCollum might have the league's deepest bag of dribble moves, fakes, and tricks of footwork. The man is a wizard.
You know you have a problem when you could listen blind to an audio reel of players grunting near basket microphones and connect grunts to specific individuals. I am certain I could identify a Jusuf Nurkic grunt without visual aid. Sorry. You won't be able to un-hear it now.
The Blazers are a top-3 art team, and their new court might be their best ever:
It's clean and elegant: one shade of wood, blaring red paint, and the sport's best logo alone at center stage. The flourishes come on the outskirts: the different-colored baselines -- one red, one black -- and the sidelines flowing from one color into the other. (One NBA 2K League team created a digital court with the two painted areas rendered in different colors. A real team will try that soon.)
The Blazers are busting out what the NBA calls the first brown jersey in league history:
The ripples evoke Oregon's topography, and the colored stripes honor local Native American tribes. I think I like it?
The Blazers give a sound, professional effort every night. Trimmings include Carmelo Anthony's twilight; Anthony screaming "I got it" on every rebounding chance, even when no one else is around; Anfernee Simons trying to figure it out; Derrick Jones Jr. leaping over people; and Harry Giles III threading passes from the elbows.
9. New Orleans Pelicans (36)
Zion Williamson alone gets you into the top 10, even if we need to see him stay healthy. In a recent chat, David Griffin, the Pelicans executive vice president of basketball operations, used the perfect word to describe Williamson: sudden. He is standing in the lane, ready to catch the ball, and then the ball is in the basket before you digest what has happened.
The other nine players have barely flinched. It's like Zack Morris called timeout midgame, only Williamson is the one who can move.
We will see more of Williamson initiating from the post and on the pick-and-roll under Stan Van Gundy; Brandon Ingram told me last week he has been screening for Williamson in practices. Williamson is a slick, daring passer.
The JJ Redick-Joel Embiid bob-and-weave in Philly was one of the league's most intricate two-man dances; Redick and Williamson can make their own magic. Williamson and Steven Adams will be a WWE tag-team under the basket, hip-tossing weaklings who dare try for rebounds.
The broader roster is a puzzle for one of the league's best problem-solvers in Van Gundy. The Pelicans are built to run, with Lonzo Ball heaving touchdowns to Williamson, but Van Gundy's teams typically play slow. How does that sort itself out? Van Gundy has pitched the idea of Ball as point guard in transition, and off-ball wing in the half court. Is that the end game for one of the league's most unusual players?
Josh Hart is an ideal glue guy, and showed ballhandling chops last season -- including coast-to-coast forays. Jaxson Hayes and Nickeil Alexander-Walker are incorrigible. Hayes is the NBA's Kool-Aid Man, smashing through everything in search of backboard-shattering slams.
8. Philadelphia 76ers (37)
The two-time defending League Pass champs remain a solid entertainment machine.
You cannot take your eyes off Joel Embiid. Fogies like me craving old-school back-to-the-basket work cherish Embiid's onslaught of fakes and Hakeem-style footwork -- and how he relishes smushing smaller centers, dunking over their prone bodies, and cackling down at them like a proper villain.
He is the league's best trash-talker, owner of space in the heads of multiple rivals. Oh, Philly is facing Andre Drummond tonight? Hassan Whiteside? Karl-Anthony Towns? Microwave the popcorn. Embiid will make someone weep on live TV one day.
The Sixers added shooting around Embiid and Ben Simmons, and every game now carries an unspoken tension: Is this season -- this month? this week? -- their last chance to prove they can make it work at the highest levels?
A fun way to watch Philly is to track Simmons within the half court. Where is he standing when he doesn't have the ball? Is he setting flare screens? What pick-and-roll combinations do the Sixers try with him? Is he handling the ball in crunch time? If not, who is?
This is the ultimate feast-or-famine bench. Matisse Thybulle is an apparition, popping from nowhere to haunt scorers. In his first week in the league, he did this to a legitimately unnerved Kevin Huerter:
Tyrese Maxey has (for now) supplanted Thybulle in the rotation, and had moments in Philly's win Wednesday over the Wizards. He can get to the rim in a hurry.
Philly, Portland, and the Lakers are the three best top-to-bottom art teams.
7. Milwaukee Bucks (38)
The basketball questions appeal as much as the highlights -- i.e. the two-time reigning MVP traversing the court in three dribbles and dunking everyone into oblivion. The single rudest NBA moment is Giannis Antetokounmpo gathering the ball under the rim with his defender draped over him, rising up in concert with that defender, and slamming the ball directly on top of his head. It is shocking in its abrupt cruelty.
Milwaukee's regular-season record no longer mattering is ironically what makes this regular season interesting: Every game should be geared toward honing playoff adaptability. The Bucks now have three ultra-switchable defenders in Antetokounmpo, Khris Middleton, and Jrue Holiday; let's try switching! (Another great NBA moment: a big guy thinking he can post Holiday on a switch, taking two hard dribbles backward, realizing he can't move Holiday, and concluding, Screw it, this guy's annoying, I'm throwing it out.)
Milwaukee will explore the Holiday-Antetokounmpo pick-and-roll as an alternative to the "OK, do something, Giannis!" strategy. Does Antetokounmpo have any new go-to moves?
Donte DiVincenzo and Pat Connaughton fly around, blocking shots and snaring out-of-area rebounds. One of the biggest subplots of the season is whether DiVincenzo makes enough 3s.
Bobby Portis is the captain of the "If you watch the right 15 games, you think he is a top-10 player" All-Stars. Marques Johnson and Steve Novak are a must-listen 1-2 analyst punch.
I love the Bucks' city edition jerseys, referencing Lake Michigan and local rivers:
The little rivulets within the numbers are a masterstroke.
6. Boston Celtics (38.5)
This is too high. The art category bumps Boston up because of the parquet floor and its classic green uniforms -- maybe the best jerseys in sports. The Celtics need to stop with craven alternates -- gray, black, this season's "banner" jerseys, whatever. They all stink, with the exception of one from a couple of seasons ago that was just their normal white jersey with yellow-gold trim around green lettering.
Mike Gorman is classically smooth on play-by-play. Brian Scalabrine is ready to sit in Tommy Heinsohn's chair. A word on Heinsohn, maybe the only person who could claim Hall of Fame worthiness as player, coach, and media member: a lot of opposing fans hated him because of his outrageous homerism. To each his own. But there is a brand of pernicious, passive-aggressive, sneering homerism (I won't name names) that is distinct from Heinsohn's blowhard cartoonishness. It is subtler, with the intent of poisoning fans and incepting conspiracy theories.
Heinsohn was in on the joke. To at least some degree, he was doing shtick. He wasn't arrogant. He didn't trash former Celtics after they left, as pernicious homers often do; if anything, he lauded them.
Jayson Tatum is the main draw while Kemba Walker -- the league's sneakiest little guy dribbler, with his staccato pitter-pat bounces and moves that connect like boxing combinations -- nurses a knee injury.
Whether Jaylen Brown steps up his half-court playmaking is the other big night-to-night story. The Grant Williams-Robert Williams III combo brings surprising big-to-big passing, and two very different skill sets: Time Lord's pogo-stick verticality, and Grant Williams' stout switchability.
Hypothesis: Marcus Smart flops cover the longest distances of all flops.
5. Golden State Warriors (39)
Remember how you felt when Stephen Curry scored 54 points on a random night in New York? I bet you remember where you were that Saturday night in 2016 when Curry pulled up from just inside half court in Oklahoma City for a filthy game-winner.
Curry has been perhaps the most telegenic player of the past decade -- the most viscerally entertaining -- and he's back on a weird team that needs him to engage MVP mode.
Golden State's opening loss was discouraging, but it portended a heap of Curry pick-and-rolls -- now with a center, James Wiseman, who can dive and catch lobs. Even Marquese Chriss, a cagey high-post passer, rolled hard for a layup -- and drained a triple!
The Warriors will run to compensate for a lack of shooting in the half court. Curry and Draymond Green have always thrived in the open floor. Curry searching out pockets of space in transition is the league's most dangerous game of hide-and-seek.
Eric Paschall is a bowling ball. Kelly Oubre Jr. trash talks way above his station, and it is awesome. If the collective energy of this group can't inspire some passion from Andrew Wiggins, nothing can.
Golden State's art honors the "We Believe" team of 2007 and the franchise's former home in Oakland:
There is the contrasting baseline motif again. It has becoming a thing, and that's fine as long as it's not ubiquitous. I like the lightning bolts along the sidelines, and the "We Believe" wordmark in the corners.
Question for longtime Oakland residents: Do you appreciate these tributes, or have they reached the point where it almost feels like the team patting you on the head after bolting?
4. Dallas Mavericks (39.5)
In his first NBA playoffs, Luka Doncic at age 21 put up 31-10-9 on 50% shooting against a top-five defense, and tore apart whatever matchups and schemes the Clippers threw at him. He averaged 11 free throw attempts. He shot 72% at the basket, tilting defenders off-balance with decelerations and shoulder checks. He affirmed his ceiling: MVP, best player in the league, all-time great.
He is the rare ball handler with the height and vision to access LeBron-style crosscourt passes. He manipulates rotating defenses with eye fakes and quirks of timing. That is Doncic commanding the game. It is blockbuster entertainment.
But what I love most about Doncic is how he keeps possessions alive in those in-between moments -- when he doesn't have the ball, and the offense veers off-script. When the game appears out of his control, he improvises methods of retaking that control -- cuts, fakes, give-and-goes:
The Mavs under Rick Carlisle are easy on the eyes: few turnovers, no fouls, just flow. If anything, you want them to get off-kilter -- to run, rebel, test the boundaries of Carlisle's patience.
These Mavs should be stingier on defense than last season's bunch. Scorers don't seem to respect Maxi Kleber's shot-blocking until he feeds them the ball. Every Boban Marjanovic cameo is a joy.
I have seen mostly negative reviews for the Mavs' new Pegasus-themed jerseys, but I like them:
The Mavs' regular jerseys over the past decade have been as uninteresting as any in sports, so change is welcome. (This could explain why I enjoyed last season's graffiti look.)
Thumbs up to the throwback 1980s court with the goofy cowboy hat logo:
They even kept the one-legged Dirk fadeaway in the corners!
The three-man booth of Mark Followill, Derek Harper, and Jeff "Skin" Wade works because they are all great, and bring very different things.
3. Los Angeles Lakers (40)
This feels kinda like LeBron finishing runner-up in MVP.
LeBron is now third all time in minutes played, so the clichés about soaking in everything -- every jump pass, every left-to-right spinning drive, every power slam -- ring true. This is arguably the greatest player ever chasing a fifth ring, and trying to eliminate the "arguably" qualifier.
LeBron and Anthony Davis clicked right away, smothering opponents on defense and hooking up to form the league's most lethal transition attack. Marc Gasol's shooting and passing will open corridors to the rim that weren't there last season.
I'm curious to see how the LeBron-Davis-Montrezl Harrell trio works on both ends. The Carushow is a ratings juggernaut.
The Lakers have the league's best home floor, and one of the three or four nicest jersey sets. This season, they are paying homage to Elgin Baylor -- plus the old Minneapolis Lakers -- with gorgeous dueling blue jerseys:
The white one is spellbinding. I'm a sucker for powder blue, and the motion lines trailing the "Lakers" wordmark leap off the white background.
I would pay for an app that was just Lawrence Tanter narrating my day-to-day activities.
2. Denver Nuggets (42)
I thought the addition of Facundo Campazzo -- a world-class passer and instigator -- would put the Nuggets over the top. I don't smoke, but I'm going to need cigarette breaks after some Campazzo-Nikola Jokic passing sequences.
Jokic's imagination is boundless. He envisions passes that aren't there, and wills them into existence with winks and nods: Cut over there! Now!
Sometimes he tries passes even when there is no open passing lane, just to see if he can do it. Jokic's teammates understand they don't have to be open in the physical sense for Jokic to consider them open. If their defender's back is turned to the ball, they are open. Jokic will slip a pass under the unsuspecting victim's armpit, through a window about the size of a basketball.
He has invented or patented genres of passes: the one-handed-rebound-slash-outlet, also known as the water polo pass; and the pick-and-roll that transitions into a give-and-go.
On no-look passes, Jokic actually doesn't look. Can you find any evidence he ever peeks in Gary Harris' direction before whipping this baby?
He might have more fakes and counters in the post than any scorer. He seems to make them up on the fly. He can hit 3s, rumble in for floaters, and when all else fails, launch the inexplicable Sombor Shuffle. I might fall over in my driveway trying that thing.
Michael Porter Jr. is going to explode as a jack-of-all-trades wing scorer. I get why cold analytics types think Denver should trade Porter for James Harden; Porter could ask for a max extension in 10 months, and Harden is a superstar who could put the Nuggets over the top.
But as a neutral party, I'm rooting for Denver to keep the Jamal Murray-Porter-Jokic trio together. What a special thing it could be to have three scoring stars at those distinct positions -- point guard, wing, big -- with almost no functional skill overlap between them, and watch them grow together. I don't want anyone taking the ball, and the offense, from Jokic's hands.
Michael Malone is the most enthusiastic coach clapper. Give us some Bol Bol, coach! The broadcast is solid across the board.
1. Brooklyn Nets (43)
A few years ago, I invented the Ian Eagle Corollary -- a rule that allowed me to dock Brooklyn points if the excellence of its broadcast crew (still excellent!) pushed the Nets to a ranking their slow-as-molasses team did not deserve. That's how boring the Nets were.
Now they are League Pass champions.
When we last saw Kevin Durant, he had won consecutive Finals MVPs and was coming for LeBron's throne. He's back, helming a team rich in shooting and lineup flexibility. Steve Nash wasted no time playing Durant at center in the opener. Kyrie Irving has tons of open space on the pick-and-roll.
The Nets are well equipped to play fast, and not just because they have so many shooters and ball handlers. They will switch a lot on defense, generating matchup chaos after stops. Some opponents will want specific defenders on Durant and Irving, and in searching for those matchups in the whirlwind of semi-transition, they will fall behind the go-go Nets.
Let's be polite and say Brooklyn scored well in the unintentional comedy category. Jarrett Allen is willing to risk posterization, and that fearlessness results in meet-you-at-the-apex collisions -- high drama.
The return of these beauties cinched the League Pass title:
I love how the blue in the painted areas and along the sidelines shifts from light to dark.
Quite a journey for Deez Nets. On to the games!