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          Toe Poke Daily: Arsenal and Man United fans plead with Zenit to buy Mustafi and Jones

          • Chris Wright, Toe Poke writerAug 27, 2019, 08:41 AM ET

          The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.

          JUMP TO: Own goal penalty classic | Reporter gets soaked by sprinkler | Offside halts crowd kiss

          Zenit St Petersburg made the error of leaving their Twitter direct messages open to allow their followers to interact with the club directly and in private.

          This resulted in the Russian side being absolutely inundated with messages from fans of other teams around the world, all desperately pleading with them to sign their least favourite players.

          As you might expect, there were plenty of mentions for Phil Jones, Jesse Lingard and Alexis Sanchez from Manchester United supporters, while Arsenal fans seized the opportunity to harangue Shkodran Mustafi all over again.

          There was also a fairly niche reference to striker John Akinde, of English League One side Lincoln City.

          As for Zenit, it's high time to lock those DMs right back up and then toss the key down a deep, dark hole.

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          Own goal penalty classic in Australia

          One of the fundamental rules of penalty-taking etiquette is to always follow the shot in and pounce on any rebound that might come your way.

          Of course, it goes without saying that particular adage doesn't apply to defenders

          Unfortunately, it would appear this full-back playing in the grand final of a local all-age tournament in Sydney, Australia, didn't get the memo.

          It was 2-2 with five minutes to go... and the own-goal horror show proved to be the winner!

          We must have watched that clip approximately 20 times now and we still can't fully comprehend which foot he actually shanked it into his own goal with.

          Almost impressive, in a way.

          Reporter gets soaked by sprinkler... carries on!

          Russian journalist Evgeniy Evnevich got a little closer to the action than he may have liked whilst reporting from CSKA Moscow's stadium on Sunday.

          Indeed, while attempting a piece to camera from the touchline, Evnevich was formally introduced to the automated sprinkler system at the VEB Arena.

          Of course, he could have just moved out of the way at the first sign of danger, but that would have meant leaping out of shot and potentially scuppering the entire segment.

          We can only salute this man's unwavering professionalism, even in the face of an enormous soaking.

          I just want your extra time and your....

          Ludogorets striker Wanderson suffered a fairly embarrassing ordeal in the Bulgarian top flight when he got caught out celebrating a disallowed goal.

          The Brazilian thought he'd opened the scoring against Slavia Sofia and went wheeling away to share a triumphant kiss with his wife in the stands.

          However, unbeknown to Wanderson, the goal had been disallowed for offside and play was allowed to continue behind his back.

          Then, just to add insult to injury, replays revealed that no such infringement had actually taken place in the build-up and that the goal should have stood.

          For the record, the game went on to finish goalless.