Michelle Heyman [she/her], a former footballer for Australia and currently with Canberra United in the A-League Women, came out publicly as a lesbian in 2010. Heyman competed at the 2015 FIFA Women's World Cup, and for Team Australia at the 2016 Rio Olympics.
What was the 'coming out to myself' process like for you?
It was kind of easy. I just mentioned to my friend in year 11 [Junior year], 'I'm just not interested in my boyfriend, I really think I'm interested in women.' And she was like, 'Then go give it a go.' It was that simple for me. I broke up with my boyfriend at the time and just managed to fall in love with one of my best friends, which was kind of funny at the time. But it was a very easy coming out story. I never felt anything different, I didn't feel it was wrong or anything like that.
Did you have a specific reason for coming out to the media/public, rather than keeping your private life private?
I came out to my parents at the age of 17 so everyone knew, friends and family, that I was a lesbian. So when I joined the [then] W-League at a later age [21] it was pretty big for them, wanting me to come out and say it to the public. It just helps other people be true to themselves and I was very happy to do that. There was a cute little article that was written up about it, but it was mainly all about being that voice and being that person... I love to be that voice for our community.
READ: 17 LGBTQ+ athletes share their coming out journeys
Has coming out impact your career and opportunities at all?
My mum was worried it would be one of those bad things, she was a bit worried when I was about to come out, [but] I never looked at it that way. It was one of the best things I ever did. I think I was the only [openly] gay athlete for Team Australia at the Rio Olympics, so that put a lot of weight on my shoulders, but it also opened up the door for so many speaking gigs for myself here in Australia. So it definitely made me a better person, it gave me a lot more of a voice to be able to share my story for corporate and for schools and for the public. I definitely gained a lot from being an out athlete and I think it even helps with sponsorship. A lot of sponsors nowadays want to have equality throughout their company so it definitely helped build my brand being gay.
What is the most rewarding, and perhaps unexpected, part of being out?
Receiving a letter from a young girl at a Canberra United game who was trying to come out to her mum and dad, and she just wanted some advice. She wrote to me, she asked me the questions of how did you come out? Do you think my mum and dad will hate me? Do you think they'll love me still? So we had this cute relationship through a letter and then the following home game, her mum came up to me and shared the story of her [daughter's] coming out, and they just were very grateful to have the support of myself there for her. It was a really touching and beautiful moment to share with a fan and her parents. It's been one of the biggest blessings and I think it's such a beautiful story to share.
What would your advice be to folks who are struggling with their identity?
I feel like you really can't be successful in life, or at your happiest, if you're always hiding something, so for me it was always to be true to who you are and the people around you will love you. It might take them a while to understand certain things, but they will come around, and I really, truly, believe that you will never lose your parents -- they will always love you. It's just something they need to understand in a different way. And that's the biggest thing, I think the older generation now has started to change and are being more accepting of all this. So I don't see it as being as difficult as it used to be 30-40 years ago. So just be true to yourself.
When debating coming out in your mind, what were your worst - and best - case scenarios? And did either come to pass?
The only thing that kept [running through] my mind was, would mum and dad love me? I think that's the normal [fear]. Would they just be 'oh no' and look at me differently, just because they are an older generation? But if my parents could come around and understand who I am, and that I'm still the same person but I just date the same sex, If they could open their eyes and see it and still love me... I think they knew before I did. So I don't have any negative reactions towards it, it's always been really happy and positive in my family.
Did you ever feel any pressure, either internally or from speculating fans, to be a role model or an ambassador for the queer community? And is that something you embrace now?
I think being an athlete you have to be a role model for everything, so to be a voice for my community is even more special. It just gives me a platform to be able to share my story and maybe help someone else. So I take it all on board and I'm really grateful for the opportunities where I get to share my story and just be my true self. It's a pretty cool life to be able to be comfortable with who I am, and if other people want to listen to it then maybe that might help them come out or even just understand, then I think that's a massive positive.