He's cut! The Russian is cut! Carson Wentz finally threw an interception, and the Eagles finally lost! He's not a machine -- he's a man!
Yeah, Rocky Balboa might be the most tired Philadelphia sports cliché, but until Darius Slay ripped his final pass of the day out of the air Sunday afternoon, Wentz was looking straight Ivan Drago. (From an unstoppability standpoint, of course. Not from a menacing, steroid-addled, deadly Red Scare one.)
You could say we "learned" Sunday that Wentz isn't going to go his entire career without making a mistake or losing a game, but I'd like to think we already knew that. Fans get too excited, and skeptics get too nasty. But if I can change ... and you can change ... everybody can change!
Or, at least, we can take a look at what we think Week 5 of the NFL season taught us.
The Dallas Cowboys might be able to pull this off
No pass rush? Bah. With DeMarcus Lawrence back, Dallas had four sacks in Sunday's victory over the Bengals. The division-rival Giants have four sacks all season. The Cowboys' defense doesn't need to be great -- just OK -- because the offense flat-out works. Ezekiel Elliott is running through holes big enough to be designated national parks. Dak Prescott is doing everything the Cowboys are asking him to do. I continue to think they should give the job back to Tony Romo when he's healthy, but I'm starting to waver. My rationale is they'll be able to use a lot more of the playbook with Romo than they're using with Prescott. But I waver because, having watched them the past four weeks, I wonder whether they need to.
Jack Del Rio is going to be huge in Vegas
Remember when Del Rio's Raiders were down seven and scored a touchdown in the waning seconds of Week 1's game in New Orleans, and he went for two and got it? Sure, you do. You don't forget a thing like that. But that wasn't a one-off. Del Rio had a fourth-and-3 on the Chargers' 21 down three points in the second half Sunday, and he dialed up a touchdown pass from Derek Carr to Michael Crabtree. Then he went for two because that's what Jack Del Rio does. Sure, opposing teams are just taking turns ripping out the Chargers' hearts these days. But can't you see a future in which the well-coiffed coach of the Las Vegas Raiders is at some high-rollers table at Caesar's, hitting on 16 with the dealer showing 4, and the whole table is like, "What are you do ... YES!!"
The Giants are asking a lot of a small group of players
Sunday's game was the first all season in which Jason Pierre-Paul played fewer than 95 percent of the Giants' defensive snaps. On the season, he has played 96 percent, and fellow starting defensive end Olivier Vernon has played 93 percent. They are great players and well-paid for their efforts, but a defensive line is at its best when it has enough pieces to rotate in and out and keep its stars fresh for the fourth quarter. The Giants couldn't get near Aaron Rodgers in the second half Sunday, and it cost them, as Green Bay held the ball for 36:38 of the game. Janoris Jenkins is playing great, and Odell Beckham Jr. will be just fine. But not enough Giants are performing at a high level, and the team is asking too much of the few who are.
The Colts cannot expect Andrew Luck to endure this
How did those contract negotiations go, by the way? "Andrew, yeah, we'll give you whatever you want, but you're going to have to be OK with spending the season on your back." Luck was sacked five times in Sunday's win over the Bears, and he has been sacked 20 times this season. If he plays all 16 games, it'll be a miracle. The Colts need to figure out a way to protect their franchise player, or their franchise isn't going to accomplish very much during his career.
The 49ers will start at least two quarterbacks -- probably three -- before the end of the season
I'm serious, people. Christian Ponder will start a game before this season ends. You heard it here first. Or maybe you didn't, but still. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if Ponder started this week. I also wouldn't be surprised if the 49ers went to Colin Kaepernick or if they stayed with Blaine Gabbert. Chip Kelly knows the stew he's cooking tastes terrible, but all three bottles in the spice rack are filled with dust. You can yell yourself hoarse that Kaepernick couldn't possibly be worse, but the fact is he could, and the Niners don't have a good answer for all that ails them.
The Steelers could run away with the league's best division
Pittsburgh looked terrible in Philly but has looked unstoppable everywhere else. The Ravens are turning back into a pumpkin. And it appears the Marquis de Sade made the Bengals' first-half schedule. (Honestly, next week is their fourth road game, and it's in New England!) There's no reason the Steelers shouldn't be able to run away and hide, even from the other good teams in the division.
Miami Hurricanes never die
Andre Johnson, who entered the NFL in 2003, scored a touchdown for the Titans on Sunday. Frank Gore, who entered the NFL in 2005, ran for 75 yards and passed JIM BROWN on the all-time rushing yards list. We've heard a lot about how great those Hurricanes teams were back then, but the fact that these guys are still delivering at their age just underlines it.
Joey Bosa played!
And he had two sacks in his debut! Good to see you, big guy! I mean, it's probably too late after the holdout and the injury and the three blown fourth-quarter leads while you were out, but the Chargers sure are happy to have their first-round pick in uniform and looking good. San Diego hasn't had much go its way so far this season, and losing top defensive back Jason Verrett last week was the latest kick in the gut. Maybe Bosa's arrival gives them a kick somewhere more helpful.