Let's just humor Todd Boehly for a second here: What if the Premier League did have an all-star game?
Back when the new Chelsea chairman proposed the idea during a leadership conference in September -- has anything good ever come out of speaking at a leadership conference? -- he suggested it for one simple reason: added revenue. The idea was quickly met with widespread derision. "When he finds a date for that, he can call me," Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp said. "He forgets that in the big sports in America, these players have four-month breaks. It is completely different in football.
"What can I say? Does he want to bring the Harlem Globetrotters as well and let them play against a football team?"
The nice thing about the midseason breaks in American sports is that they're just that: breaks. They're a recognition that seasons are long, it's unrealistic to expect everyone to keep pushing on through the playoffs, we should reward the best players from the first half of the season and these multibillion-dollar enterprises are built on top of simple games that anyone can play.
The point of all-star games is not that they're competitive; no, they're supposed to be fun. They're one moment when each competition takes a step back and tactically acknowledges that, you know what? Winning actually isn't everything.
The Premier League, of course, famously hates breaks. While everyone else in Europe takes some time off for the winter holidays, the Premier League crams as many games as possible into the same period of time because of the same drive for revenue that caused Boehly to suggest the idea in the first place. Any kind of relaxing, restorative all-star game is probably a pipe dream within that context. So, as English soccer pushes ever deeper into the second half of its season without blinking, let us take a step back and acknowledge the best performers from the first half of the Premier League season.
With 11 starters and a full bench, here are your 2022-23 Premier League All-Stars.
All stats via Stats Perform unless otherwise noted.