Jordan Henderson likened leaving Liverpool to a breakup and said he has endured "tough moments" since choosing to make the controversial switch to Saudi Arabia.
The 35-year-old faced widespread criticism in 2023 when the Reds skipper made a lucrative move to play for Al Ettifaq in a country where same sex-relationships are illegal.
Henderson had been a high-profile supporter of LGBTQ+ rights and apologised for letting down or hurting anyone in the community having left Saudi to join Ajax six months into a three-year deal.
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The midfielder returned to the Premier League this summer by joining Brentford and admits he "struggled for a period" after ending his 12-year association with Liverpool.
"It felt like a breakup," Henderson said. "It was just difficult.
"I think if you asked a lot of players when they leave a club -- not just Liverpool -- you have been at for so long and have that attachment to, whether you retire or move on, I think for a period of time it's really difficult.
"That was hard but within time things change, you move on, but I would say that was probably the most difficult time."
Henderson revealed he could not watch a lot of English football after leaving and completely avoided Liverpool matches, joking he "probably picked the right place for that nearly halfway around the world."
Yet there was no escaping the anger of some for moving to Saudi, with the midfielder booed by England fans in a pair of Wembley matches in October 2023.
The move damaged his reputation and arguably played a part in him missing out in Gareth Southgate's Euro 2024 squad.
"I don't think it was the reason why I missed the Euros," Henderson said. "When I was in Saudi I think I was in every camp prior to the Euros, so I don't think it was a reason.
"Timing, with everything in hindsight, yes, maybe I would have made different decisions.
"But at the time that's how I felt and the decision I made was for many different reasons and only I know them reasons, but in the end I've just tried to do the right thing that I think that was best.
"I thought it was best to do that at the time and then I thought it was best to come back to Europe and go and play for Ajax."
Henderson likes to think he has improved as player and person in his time away from England, when he had to deal with his values being questioned as well as on-field qualities.
"I am not going to lie, over the past couple of years I have had some tough moments," he said.
"But when you come out the other side, you look back, you learn a lot about yourself and it makes you stronger, makes you think differently.
"If you use it in the right way, it can help you and that's all I've ever tried to do.
"Of course I'm not perfect and I've made mistakes in the past. Of course I will have throughout my career.
"But all I've ever tried to do is the right thing and help as many people around me as I can, and try to use the negative stuff to be a better player and help my team wherever I've been."
Henderson regularly uses doubters as "fuel" and is doing so under Tuchel, who has been criticised for repeatedly calling up a player who rejected the suggestion he is a cheerleader with England.
"The most important people are the manager, the coaching staff and the players and what they think," the 85-cap midfielder said ahead of Thursday's friendly against Wales.
"Ask them what they think, if I am a cheerleader when I am here. I don't think one of the best managers in Europe would be choosing me just to do that."
Henderson also backed Jude Bellingham to bounce back from his England disappointment and make Tuchel's team even better moving forwards.
The 22-year-old missed September's internationals after undergoing shoulder surgery and was widely expected to return to the fold this month.
But Tuchel overlooked fit-again Bellingham in favour of those that impressed last month, leading the England manager to face questions over their relationship and the player's personality.
Henderson seemed surprised to hear there was external perception from some that the Real Madrid star has an ego and praised the "very special" midfielder's attitude as much as his aptitude.
"From the outside, you can never listen to noise or media or things like that because a lot of the time it can be untrue or it can be misinterpreted," Henderson said.
"But the players know what Jude is like as a person and as a player.
"He is a world-class player and a world-class person, and he makes the England team when he plays even better because of the type of player that he is."
Information from PA was used in this report.