Once nicknamed rugby's Peter Pan, James O'Connor has grown up and found peace within himself as he begins his 17th season of professional rugby and prepares for his future off the pitch.
It's been a tumultuous journey for the boy from the Gold Coast who started his career as an 18-year-old at the Western Force and as a main stay of the Wallabies set up throughout the early 2010s. But it was also a time that often saw his name splashed across the headlines for all the wrong reasons.
His list of off-field indiscretions is long and well documented, including a Wallabies top-up contract that was torn up in 2013 and culminating in a 2017 arrest and two nights in a Parisian jail. Over a decade later, the 33-year-old can look back at many of his past mistakes with a wry smile and acknowledge he was chasing an ideal and pleasure he was never able to find.
"How long have you got?" O'Connor joked with ESPN when asked about what he'd learned over his controversial career.
"I chased pleasure so much because my goals were so different, I was seeking joy, I was seeking pleasure outside of rugby and I was a young man trying to live the way that I thought a person in my position would live.
"Everything I had been told [represented] success, I did that to the extreme and found that there was nothing fulfilling for me there, so that changed my world a lot.
"Then I went completely to the other side and started living so disciplined and rigidly and l went so far from pleasure to discipline that I've had to mesh it all back in together and find what really works for me."
Open to the mistakes of the past and speaking frankly about his future aspirations on and off the field, O'Connor revealed he'd spent many long nights reflecting on what's been and where he could go from here, but had finally achieved personal serenity.
"I am at peace," the 33-year-old said. "It took a long, long time to get to peace. There's been a lot of late nights reflecting and mulling over what's the best move for me to do. What's the best position? Am I doing this right? Should I develop my game in this way? Should I do this? There are so many questions as everyone has in their life, in terms of the path they're walking.
"Each day we'll get into training and [there are] names up on the board, team one and team two, and there's all different teams and combinations. That's what's really allowed me to find some joy, every day I'm coming and I'm going to play a game. I love playing rugby. I don't so much love training, but I love training when it's playing a game of rugby.
"Even if an injury was to come, I'm at peace because I just feel like I'm on my right path and I'm doing everything that feels right to me to be doing in terms of training, in terms of studying, in terms of reviewing games. So, I'm enjoying it. Life off the field is good too."
Failing to win a Wallabies call-up under Eddie Jones last year, O'Connor revealed there still remains a desire to pull on the gold jersey again, but said that he had come to terms that his appearance against Argentina in the Rugby Championship in 2022 may have been his last.
"There is still a little burning desire to be able to play, and I guess give the full version of myself," he told ESPN. "I feel like I haven't played my best rugby in that jersey the last couple of years for a number of reasons, and I would love to be able to be my full self and really go out there and do what I know that I can do and what I know I can contribute.
"If that doesn't happen, then I've let go in in some ways as well. The desire is always there, so if someone wants to offer you a gold jersey in six months' time, would I take it? Of course, I'd take it. But at the same time, I want to be here, I'm in this moment here with the Reds. Since I've come back that's all I've been focusing on, getting to know the new coaches and the new players and then giving myself the best chance of being in a starting jersey and helping lead my team to win games."
O'Connor credits life's simple pleasures for his recent personal growth and positive mindset.
"I think everyone has this journey. It probably just took me a little longer to grow up, I did have the nickname Peter Pan for a while.
"I think the biggest thing now is I'm just so much more fulfilled in small moments, so I don't need to look outside myself as much for pleasure, for enjoyment.
"It sounds so simple, but the small things satisfy me so much more now than they had. Whether it's going for a walk with my dog, or getting a coffee, it's so satisfying to me having some alone time. I love just having an hour to myself. Those little things that before, if I was told, I've got to sit by myself for an hour, I'd be like, 'OK, how am I going to make this at least partly enjoyable? Who can I call? What can I watch? What can I do?'
"It's just the little simple things in life that I enjoy a lot more now."
Signing a one-year extension to remain at the Reds, it was announced O'Connor would begin his transition to life off the field with a role in developing the Reds' emerging talent. Asked about the changes to his contract, the playmaker was quick to clarify he still envisions playing for several years to come and plans to learn even more before he hangs up the boots.
"At this stage, I see myself playing for another couple of years. It's as simple as my sole focus is on the field playing and winning games and I'd love to collect as much experience during the offseason in terms of coaching and what it looks like.
"As I've found, there's a lot of moving parts behind just going out there and doing an attack focus or coaching someone how to kick, there's a lot more to it in terms of the planning which is an element that I would like to learn eventually."
O'Connor said coaching had never really been on his radar throughout his career, instead it wasn't until he made his return to Australia in 2019 when he was asked to help implement the Reds' attack plan that he got his first taste and began to enjoy another area of the game.
"When I came back to Australia, I went through everything I had learned and put together a plan that I thought would be most efficient for our group. I had a lot of dialogue with the coaches at that time, especially attack coach Jim McKay and we nutted out some stuff that I'm proud of and I enjoyed that element. It's the first time I actually enjoyed that part of the game.
"Then the element of an official coaching role popped up and I thought this is something I could see myself doing. I love rugby and I'm having more fun than I had when I was younger. I'm enjoying myself more on the field than I did when I was younger, probably because I understand the game to a deeper extent and also, I don't feel like there's the same pressure anymore."
Picking up a coaching role at Anglican Church Grammar School last year as well as undertaking a Level Two coaching course and attending several seminars, the former rugby bad boy said he'd fallen in love with coaching, and after more than a decade in the game, has plenty of lessons for the next generation of rugby stars.
"I guess the biggest thing I could in impart would be to be authentic to yourself and then it really is about what you value.
"People are going to go out there and make mistakes and life is just constantly about learning, growing and then when you fail, or what is perceived as a failure and mistake, is where your biggest growths are. To be able to get back up and re-energise your world and tweak it again to what you want to be doing. It's all about experiences, right?"