Eddie Jones said the Wallabies weren't going to France for the croissants, but here's hoping they at least enjoyed a baguette or two and some of the local fromage - because they sure as the proverbial aren't hanging around for the Rugby World Cup knockout phase this week.
Portugal's pulsating 24-23 win over Fiji prolonged Australia's agony right to the end of the pool stage, with the Europeans twice holding a seven-point lead that would have only required a further score of any kind for the Wallabies to earn a late reprieve.
But the islanders instead regained the lead in the final quarter and looked to have done enough to record a third pool victory, with back-to-back penalties, only for Portugal wingers Rodrigo Marta and Raffaele Storti to combine down the short side for a breathtaking five-pointer, setting up what was effectively a match-winning conversion for scrum-half Samuel Marques.
When the No. 9 split the uprights, Os Lobos had just under a minute of the clock left to kill. When the ball was booted into the stands and wild celebrations erupted around the Toulouse arena, a couple of hundred kilometres to the east the Wallabies will have sunk deep into their Saint-Galmier armchairs.
While Australia were made to sit through what will have been a weird final few days, knowing their destiny was already out of their hands, the reprisals across Australian rugby were already well under way. They started when Eddie Jones' team were stunned 22-15 by Fiji, but then rose to entirely new levels when the Wallabies were whacked 40-6 by Wales.
And rightfully so, a nation with as proud a World Cup record as Australia should never be heading home before the knockout phase. This is a new low for Australian rugby, a hole it cannot afford to linger in for any length of time.
So what now, then? How do Australian rugby and the Wallabies plot a way out of this current mire? And can this moment of ignominy also be the turning point for the game's greater good Down Under?
Here are some of the focal points that should be at the forefront for those on the Rugby Australia board, at state and grassroots level - and of course the World Cup's public enemy No. 1, Mr. Eddie Jones.
GET AN IRON-CLAD AGREEMENT FROM EDDIE; OR PART WAYS BY MUTUAL EFFECT
Eddie Jones was trumpeted as the Wallabies' saviour, and by extension Australian rugby, when he signed a five-year deal to coach the team through to Rugby World Cup 2027 on home soil. What has transpired since, however, has been one lacklustre performance after another, with Jones recording wins over only Georgia and Portugal to show for his efforts.
His 2-7 record equates to a 22.22 percent win rate in 2023, which is 13 percent lower than Dave Rennie's 35.71 percent record from 2022 alone. On the evidence of those two numbers, the decision to sack Rennie and appoint Jones, in hindsight, appears to have been wrong. A Rennie-coached team might not have made the World Cup final, but in narrow defeats to three of the world's top four sides, and a win over the Springboks, all in the space of a few months last year, the Wallabies had shown enough to suggest that a quarterfinal at least was achievable and even a semifinal, too.
But it is no good pondering the "what might have been" now, RA made its bed with Jones and now they both have to lie it in; well, that is unless the 63-year-old packs up his pillow and heads for Japan instead.
Jones was the first to suggest he might not coach the Wallabies beyond the World Cup when speaking on a The Evening Standard Rugby Podcast in May, the coach saying: "I've signed [until the end of 2027], but as I've made the mistake before, I've stayed too long. So we win the World Cup, it will be time to go. If we lose the World Cup, it will be time to go."
While Jones later walked back those comments, a Japanese report then suggested he was in the running to replace Jamie Joseph as Brave Blossoms coach after the World Cup, which exploded further when the Sydney Morning Herald alleged that the Wallabies coach had taken a Zoom interview with the Japanese Rugby Football Union on the eve of the tournament, and that he had plans for a follow-up interview further down the track.
The Wallabies coach refused to give a straight answer when repeatedly quizzed by journalists at the World Cup as to how long he was committed to Australian rugby, or even if he would continue in the job into next year.
Then, last week, he referred to his original contract, telling media: "I've signed a contract and I will do the (Rugby Australia) review and then it is up to others to decide.
"I just stand by the fact that I take full responsibility. I feel like I've given the team the opportunity to get better and, as I have repeatedly said, the results don't show that, but I think we are."
Whether the links with Japan are accurate - the journalist who broke the story has told ESPN the SMH was iron-clad in its sourcing and evidence - or if Jones was merely preparing a backup plan should RA be about to wield the axe, we may never know.
But RA chief executive Phil Waugh told reporters the morning after the Wallabies final pool game against Portugal that the governing body was wedded to Jones moving forward. "I've made the comments I take Eddie for his word, and he's told us that there is nothing to it [the Japanese link]," Waugh said. "We're committed to Eddie in the commitment that we made to him earlier in the year."
While an upcoming review will lay bare the Wallabies' failings, Jones appears to have the unwavering support of skipper Will Skelton, the rest of the playing group, and both Waugh and his chairman Hamish McLennan. What they all need in return, then, is Jones' guarantee that he is committed at least until the British & Irish Lions series in 2025. He has made too many sweeping personnel changes with an eye on the future to abandon his post after only nine months in the job, plus RA is in such a fraught financial position that sacking him with four years left on his contract would be a costly endeavour.
But if he is found to have lied about interviewing for the Japan role, then that may well be grounds for dismissal, while there are some, including former Wallabies captain Stephen Moore, who argue that if that is indeed proven correct Jones' position would be untenable.
Just how much of that, if anything, comes out in the review, remains to be seen. But having agreed to play the long game with Jones from the outset, both parties should stick to the plan and that can only come if Jones stays the course until the Lions series, at least.
CENTRALISATION IS ALREADY PROVING TRICKY, BUT IT IS WORTH A SHOT
Centralisation has long been the problem stepchild of Australian rugby. Various administrations have tried and failed to achieve alignment from head office down through the Super Rugby franchises and their respective state unions, and so nothing has ever been achieved.
That was until, at least, RA unveiled an "in-principle" agreement in August that had been co-signed by each of the chief executives of the five Super franchises, revealing that all parties were committed to pursuing some degree of centralisation in what the governing body declared would be a "reset" of the professional game in Australia.
But the devil was in the detail as they say, specifically that there was very little of it. Already the ACT Brumbies are pushing back, Australia's most successful Super franchise unwilling to hand over the keys to their stable in the fear that it may well be closed permanently, or shipped off somewhere else.
Waugh told reporters last week that RA was committed to five Super Rugby franchises - a setup that the likes of Moore and fellow Wallabies great Michael Lynagh believe is one of the biggest problems in Australian rugby - but if that is to be the case into the future then having greater alignment across strength and conditioning programs, individual player development plans, recruitment and even styles of play, would seem to be a worthy endeavour.
The management of S&C programs, in particular, would seemingly be one of the easier points to agree on and something that could have genuine tangible benefits for the franchises and the Wallabies, and not leave Australia in a position where it is risking multiple injuries at training in a World Cup, as was the case in France, after Skelton, prop Taniela Tupou and rising star Max Jorgensen all went down in the space of eight days.
It's likely that centralisation will be a slow burn in Australian rugby, with the Waratahs, Rebels and Force all seemingly on board with the plan, the Reds interested but wary, and the Brumbies even more so; it may be a situation that some franchises are prepared to go all in, while others will pick and choose which parts of their organisation they are prepared for RA to run.
The Brumbies have every right to question the plan having been the most consistent and successful of any of the Australian teams, a club that has routinely taken players from other franchises and turned them into Wallabies. But they are also struggling to draw a crowd in Canberra, which in turn affects revenue and the club's ability to operate.
On the S&C front, former Brumbies assistant and outgoing Wallabies lineout coach Dan Palmer made clear his thoughts on how centralisation would be a step in the right direction. Given he has worked in both Super Rugby and the Wallabies environments in the space of a few months, his opinion carries genuine weight.
"I think the more we can get everyone on the same page in Australian rugby, the better," Palmer said after the injuries to Skelton, Tupou and Jorgensen. "I can't talk to you about the details of that, but in theory getting the provinces on the same page, especially for something like S&C and potentially beyond that, I think that's a good thing."
GETTING THE SUPER RUGBY COMMISSION SORTED AND A STABLE RELATIONSHIP WITH NZR
For the first time in Rugby World Cup history, all four pools were topped by a team from the northern hemisphere. New Zealand, meanwhile, dropped a pool game for the first time at the tournament. Those two results, and South Africa's gradual shift to the northern hemisphere, seemingly paint a picture of the realities the southern hemisphere is facing as a collective.
What Australia's pool stage exit will have further highlighted for New Zealand Rugby is that without a strong Wallabies and competitive Super Rugby competition, their playing cohort is at risk of being left behind into the future. Such a statement will raise an eyebrow or two for anyone who watched the All Blacks' supreme attacking display against Italy; but a better guide of just where this current group of New Zealand internationals is at will come on Saturday, and beyond that should they beat Ireland.
But the All Blacks are also headed for some generational change; incoming coach Scott Robertson will not be able to select any of Brodie Retallick, Sam Whitelock, Ardie Savea, Aaron Smith, Richie Mo'unga or Beauden Barrett next year and while there is a talented crop of players who can slot into those vacating positions, they are at this stage nowhere near the level of their soon-to-be predecessors.
They need greater competition at Super Rugby level and the Bledisloe Cup, and that is where Australia comes in. While RA and NZR are not equal parties financially in Super Rugby Pacific - NZR receives more for its broadcast deal than RA, and recently agreed to share more of its Sky pie too - the two Unions have a mutual recognition that if they are to hang with the likes of Ireland, France and South Africa at international level, they need a robust, competitive, physical and entertaining Super Rugby competition to do so.
In the two seasons of Super Rugby Pacific, Australia hasn't carried its weight. The Brumbies have made two semifinals, while the best that the Waratahs and Reds have done in two years is sixth and seventh respectively. The Rebels and Force are yet to even reach what is already an inflated postseason anyway.
Concepts like a draft, or free player movement across the competition's borders that doesn't affect Test eligibility, have already been flagged, with RA bosses doing their best to convince their NZR counterparts that such a move wouldn't jeopardise the All Blacks talent pool, but indeed enhance it. That is a tough argument to make in some respects, particularly when RA is pursuing centralisation itself and the cohesion benefits that can come with it.
An independent commission, which is reportedly close to being rubber-stamped, would at least do what's best for Super Rugby Pacific itself; one of its first moves should be to reduce the number of finals spots to six, at least, to place more pressure on the regular season and stop teams from sending second-string sides to games they deem expendable.
Bringing a board together from both nations and even a director from Fiji to represent the Drua would also create a strong regional alliance for rugby in the Pacific, which it needs at World Rugby level, too. As written by ESPN columnist Liam Napier last month, New Zealand Rugby cannot afford to bask in the Wallabies' inglorious World Cup exit - their pool stage departure should be very close to Item No. 1 on the agenda at their next board meeting.
And RA chairman Hamish McLennan would do well to tone down his rhetoric and threats that Australia could retreat to a national provincial competition and abandon Super Rugby Pacific altogether - if the past few weeks has shown us anything, it's that Australia's players need more high-pressure, competitive games, not fewer.
CAPTAINCY AND PLAYER SELECTION, SQUAD EVOLUTION
In a couple of years' time, when you're sitting at a pub sports trivia night and a question comes up asking how many Wallabies captains were used in 2023, remember this moment: Australia were led by six different skippers in 2023.
While injuries played a huge role in that scenario, there was also plenty of mixed messaging from Jones; not least of which when he turned to Dave Porecki for Australia's final two Tests of the year when he had each of Tate McDermott and James Slipper, captains from earlier in the year, in the starting side.
Having such an array of voices and no clear leader cannot help matters when the pressure is on, even in this age of the popular "leadership group". If Jones is to hang around into 2024, he would be wise to name a single skipper at the start of the year and if injuries strike from there, then switch his captain accordingly.
Whether that is Will Skelton, Allan Alaalatoa, McDermott, Slipper or even Porecki, it doesn't matter. But just settle on a player who will be in the run-on side for the first Test against Wales in July next year.
Outside the captaincy, Jones has some big decisions to consider moving into 2024, too. Does he continue picking Samu Kerevi from Japan, after the centre was well below his best in France? Is Nic White's time in the gold jersey up? Was Richie Arnold just a World Cup necessity, particularly once Izack Rodda is back playing, or one of Darcy Swain, Josh Canham or Cadeyrn Neville develops further?
And how much did Jones watch of the Barbarians? Circling back on their matches with Northampton and Bristol to watch those Wallabies players who missed the World Cup squad should be near the top of his to-do list once the review into Australia's World Cup flop is complete.
It appears Marika Koroibete has called time on his Test career, though, with Pone Fa'amausili inadvertently dropping word the winger planned to retire after Australia's win over Portugal.
And while it has been hard to buy even half of what has come out of Jones' mouth this year, it's true he has the nucleus of a side that Australia can build a team around for the Lions' visit in two years' time. In Angus Bell, Allan Alaalatoa, Taniela Tupou, Will Skelton, Tom Hooper, Rob Valetini, Tate McDermott, Carter Gordon, Lalakai Foketi, Mark Nawaqanitawase and Andrew Kellaway, there is enough talent and now experience to believe there is cause for the smallest shred of optimism moving forward and that what transpired in France was truly Australia's bottoming out moment.
It can't perceivably get any worse, can it?