<
>

THE MORNING ACCORDING TO US

Fast and the Furious: Polish Nights. More horsepower than Days of Thunder, more Oscars than Million Dollar BabyGetty Images

Here we go again, around the world as though we were floating in the jet stream, with a parachute to stop at such things as a bull fight in Madagascar or bog racing in Britain. We drag race in Poland and follow Tony Romo all the way down to Mexico … if we have to. This is what we do. Check the links up top for the full goodness.

Pole Position
Not only is it perhaps the original and best racing arcade game, but Pole Position is also a deft play on words for what's going down in the land of Pole. Okay, call it Poland. As the piece states, in Lodz, "People drag-race on the main avenue here in broad daylight, and the police just stand by and watch. That is, until the commissioner steps up to hand trophies to the winners." This is the perilous future Marty McFly experienced when Biff Tanner snagged a copy of the Sports Almanac from the future. Don't you see? Back to the Future is real! (Hey, the shoes are.)

Robo Ball
While we're on the topic of a devastating and dangerous post-apocalyptic future, we should note thee robot World Cup is about to go down. After Euro 2008, now Austria is preparing to host RoboCup, where 500 robots take to the football field hoping to prove their mettle. Held annually since 1997, the RoboCup, one of the world's largest demonstrations of robotics, will take place in the southern city of Graz in July 2009. Yes, but do they have real cheerleaders, and can they do the Roboto? Authenticity is big, people.

Golfing Billiards
In honor of the recently finished British Open, we should link to a more entertaining highlight from one of its top players. K.J. Choi recently was involved with Retief Goosen in a sequence you'll never see happen again. We can absolutely verify this. When Choi hits, the result is absurd. Stop in quickly for the video.

Back to China
Gao Jun, who won a 1992 Olympic silver medal for China in women's doubles table tennis, returns to the land of her birth for the Beijing Olympics at age 39 as a player for the United States. Gao began playing table tennis at five years old and by nine was selected for a Chinese sports school. Imagine, a school where you're forced to study, then take the afternoon to hone your ping pong skills! Still, since we sent Forrest Gump over to take on the Chinese, this is probably the most notable story. Good luck, Gao! (Go Gao?)

Beetle Burden
As many as 250 Madison Mallards fans did the, well, disgusting Thursday night. That's right. They ate beetles. The Mallards hosted Beetle Eating Night at the Duck Pond at Warner Park, in which the first 250 people to eat a dead beetle received a free ticket to the ballpark's all-you-can-eat-and-drink Duck Blind party deck. Folks, we're talking thirty bucks of value here! Check out the photos Madison.com provides if you can stomach a graphic insect-eating display.