The fighting game community can be unforgiving. The stress and pressure of constant judgment on social media or the need to place highly at a tournament to stay relevant or advance in a given pro tour is the standard to being a professional player.
For a player to survive in this game, they must always evolve with the times.
For Chris Tatarian, the evolution was life-changing. He became prominent in the Street Fighter 4 scene as a teenager with an ego and an edge to him. He armed himself with excuses and a poor attitude when the expectations grew and the tournament results moved past the local scene. At first, his complaints on social media drew ridicule from the public and his peers, and then that vitriol came by word of mouth.
Tatarian, once a prodigy, became a punchline. He had some growing to do.
Street Fighter V, Tatarian's evolution as a player continued, but it was his maturation that made the biggest impact. There was less chatter about the game's inconsistencies and more about his ideas and theories on how to succeed. He was less affected by public perception and focused on his own progress and professionalism.
"When you make Street Fighter or sponsors your life, that's when you fail," Tatarian said. "It's important to do well, but I understand the business better and you cannot just rely on yourself as just a player. You need to take advantage of the other avenues of your life for fun, and then Street Fighter becomes easier and more fun. Don't ever be just a player: Gain experience in social media or a commentator or create content."
When Tatarian signed a contract with the Cygames Beast team in March, the pressure and expectations from the outside paled in comparison to the mental storm that brewed within him. He dealt with fame and results before with previous teams, but the association with Street Fighter legend and new teammate Daigo Umehara proved to be something he couldn't shake.
Tatarian felt he needed to confirm to the rest of the team that his involvement with the brand was not a fluke. The team was full of legendary players that performed or excelled at the highest stages in the professional fighting game world: Umehara, Keita "Fuudo" Ai, Bruce "Gamerbee" Hsiang and Eduardo "PR Balrog" Perez.
The pedigree of his teammates alone was enough to psych out the newly-signed Tatarian.
In the game, his free-flowing offensive pressure was replaced with frigid and uninspired block strings, and his explosive comeback potential was stifled. Outside of the game, Tatarian was muted on social media and made himself scarce at tournaments and events outside of necessary team obligations.
It took a look back at past results to snap Tatarian out of his piteous outlook. Umehara picked him after the pair developed chemistry during his trip to Japan for Japan Cup 2017 (and Tatarian's seventh-place finish). Tatarian realized that although the legends around him cast a long shadow, he could propel the team forward as well.
"The fame gets to me now and again, sure, but I don't view my placement on Team Beast as a confirmation as a player," he said. "There's a lot of pressure that comes with it. I look at that team, and I see it as a high-class team and, for me, a blessing."
His best result at a premier event, a third-place finish at SoCal Regionals in September, was an example of Tatarian's evolution. He was still struggling with nerves entering the tournament, but Tatarian once again found the beauty and fun in the game. He qualified from a stacked field and wound up facing his idol and mentor, Yusuke "Momochi" Momochi, in a Ken mirror match.
It was a match Tatarian had waited for 10 years, with the person and character he most wanted to face in a tournament setting, and the series brought Tatarian to unfamiliar levels of happiness.
"When Momochi locked in Ken, my whole atmosphere and mind cleared up. It was a reminder as to why I wanted to play Street Fighter," Tatarian said. "I was waiting for that moment. When I won, it was such a high to me, and that mattered to me."
After he won, the rest of the tournament was pressure-free, and Tatarian allowed himself to enjoy the game. The question that plagued his thoughts -- whether or not he deserved to be in a spotlight -- faded, and the childish glee that came from playing a fighting game came back.
Tatarian admits the nerves and self-doubt come back from time to time, regardless of the tournament magnitude or difficulty, but now he uses that energy as fuel to improve his own game. He still has a lot to learn and results to earn to get to the level of his idol, Momochi, or his team captain, Umehara. But Tatarian's rediscovery of the fun side of Street Fighter might just propel him to another Capcom Cup showing -- this time with actual prep work instead of school work.
"To be one of the best, you can never think you deserve something, because you need to do more," Tatarian said. "My mindset and mentality is to ascend higher. There were a lot of mental challenges this year that I needed to work on.
"If I qualify for Capcom Cup, I will finally have the time to prepare for it. If I don't do well this time around, I'll still be happy."