After the excitement of the IPL final (you're welcome for the reverse jinx, Virat), the cricket world was due a change of pace. Cue a jump cut to dear old England - birds tweeting in hedgerows, football louts desecrating village greens - and the return of red balls, white flannels and traditional manly virtues like leaving in the channel outside off.
And this week was all about a proper heavyweight battle. Two teams familiarising themselves with alien conditions. Two touring parties trying to get to grips with the London transport system (tricky even when no one is particularly interested - just ask West Indies). The hype, the intrigue, the social media buzz. The weight of history bearing down.
We are, of course, referring to India's intra-squad warm-up match ahead of the first Test against England. What did you think we meant?
Oh sure, the World Test Championship final was going on, too. That looked like fun and all. But it was missing a certain ingredient, dontchathink? A reason for a billion pairs of eyeballs to swivel devotionally on Lord's. An incentive for the news crews, influencers and celebrity spotters to give cricket their patronage. Heck, only one of the Big Three was involved, and certainly not the one whose milkshake brings all the marketing boys to the yard.
Cricket, as we all know, is a numbers game - and the numbers here just didn't add up. If we're really invested in saving the Test format, the ICC needs to avoid making such elementary mistakes.
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Don't worry, though, Test cricket does still have some big hitters in its corner. No sooner had Virat Kohli ended 18 years of hurt by lifting his first IPL title, than he was declaring it ranked "five levels under Test cricket". And this after Royal Challengers Bengaluru fans turned up to an earlier game at the Chinnaswammy wearing white to mark news of his Test retirement. Ouch. "If you want to earn respect in world cricket all over, take up Test cricket, give your heart and soul to it and earn the respect from legends," Kohli added. Hopefully those wastrels plying their trade in piddly T20 leagues around the world were paying attention. And the administrators scheduling two-Test series left, right and centre, too. Respect from legends, guys. It's right there on the table. What do you mean "Will it pay the bills?"
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The second World Cricket Connects conference brought together the game's powerbrokers for a weekend of behind-closed-doors schmoozing - but singularly failed to get the most-powerful broker of them all in the room (despite said broker, Jay Shah, being appointed to the World Cricket Connects advisory board at the start of the year). Still, everyone had a nice time. Sourav Ganguly was quoted describing it as "a lovely event" in a typically flowery MCC press release. Kumar Sangakkara said it was "wonderful". Mark Nicholas hailed the "massive growth and innovation" experienced by cricket in recent times, adding that there was "an overwhelming desire for this to continue". Quelle surprise. Actual recommendations seem to have been less abundant than pats on the back, but still. The game is clearly in good hands!
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Ben Stokes has shown little appetite for obeying convention in his time as England's Test captain, and so it should perhaps come as no surprise that he takes a similarly maverick approach to other disciplines. Take the field of mathematics, which has been wedded to the same fusty old principles since Pythagoras started noodling around with numbers 2500 years ago. Stokes won't be hidebound by such traditions - thus, when asked about Jacob Bethell potentially coming straight back from the IPL and into the Test side at No. 3, he said: "If you're smart enough, the series that Beth had out in New Zealand, obviously he's going to be back in the UK for that India series. So, I think you put two and two together, you probably know what's going to happen." Or not, apparently, as everyone in attendance came up with 2 + 2 = 4, leading Stokes to rail at the media for having an "agenda" against the incumbent, Ollie Pope. They don't teach Bazball in school textbooks, people.
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Angelo Mathews has called time on his Test career. The clock is now ticking towards his final appearance, against Bangladesh in Galle next week. Much has happened on his watch, and history will always remember his contribution to the game. They say the best cricketers have more time than the rest - but those minutes and seconds catch up with us all in the end. Hopefully someone at the BCB has the foresight to bring over a commemorative timepiece to mark the occasion. Did we mention he had brilliant timing? (That's enough timed-out puns now - Ed)