5.26pm Five-twenty-six-pee-em! This ought to have been the mid-innings break. Instead it's all done with a whopping 175 balls to spare, which is only the second-worst defeat in England's last three ODIs against South Africa. They have a lot of work to do before the second match. We'll be back for that, but from Miller, Alan and Chetan, goodnight afternoon!

Temba Bavuma: "Build from the momentum we got in Australia, good start to the series. Clinical with the ball, they put us under pressure in the powerplay but we managed to get wickets. Could have been more clinical with the bat at the end but we were led by Aiden. Fielding was good, caught well, trying to improve. The ball flies off on this square but good effort. We want to build on this momentum, quick turnaround. Lord's might be different conditions so we'll try to assess, but we've set our standard."

5.21pm: Time for the presentations

Keshav Maharaj is Player of the Match for his 4 for 22: "A really good wicket, a little in it and our bowlers utilised it. England play well in their conditions, good to see our guys put their plans to fruition today. I've looked at the best in the world and make minor changes to my game, good to see it pay off. We're in a wonderful place, still in transition, but players putting hands up in every game."

Brook adds, to his previous comments, "not ideal... Smudge batted nice but we couldn't get a partnership. Ideally we'd look to bang it."

"Sonny Baker kept on chucking it in and giving 100 percent. We kind of used it as a practice session at the end when the game was dead."

Harry Brook has been talking to TMS: "It was just a bad day. We have to just put that behind us and crack onto the next game.

"A lot of teams would make excuses, but we're not about making excuses. At the end of the day, that batting performance wasn't good enough. I think everybody will hold their hands up and say that they weren't good enough today. Look, we just had a bad day. We've just got to put it behind us and move onto Lord's.

"It's not good enough. Nobody wants to come and watch that. I can't say much more than we've just had a bad day. We've got to put it behind us as quick as possible and move onto the next game."

5.11pm Well... crumbs. Not an iota of comfort for England in a brutal mismatch. Aiden Markram's blistering 86 from 55 balls included a marmalising of Sonny Baker, who returned England's most expensive ODI debut figures. Adil Rashid's three-for can be filed alongside Jamie Smith's half-century... their collapse of 7 for 31 in 47 balls included a glut of ghastly shots from players who do actually know better, among them Buttler, Jacks and Bethell. It's another hideous mismatch between these two teams in ODI cricket, to follow their recent hammerings at the 2023 World Cup and this year's Champions Trophy. South Africa are a very, very serious white-ball team right now. T20 World Cup finalists, and recent victors in Australia too. England need to find some answers and quickly, but a month of 100-ball cricket doesn't seem to have set them up very well for this format... fancy that!

Steven Finn took a similarly pyrrhic hat-trick in that aforementioned 2015 World Cup... is it on?

Shuaib : "anyone remember G Smith and loots bosman taking A Rashid to the cleaners on his debut? He went alright after that!" I do indeed...

Well. This has been ridiculous. It's barely 5pm! I've known IPL matches that have lasted longer