It's been 235 days (or, if you prefer, 338,400 minutes) since Tua Tagovailoa slung a 41-yard touchdown pass to DeVonta Smith to give Alabama another national championship. A lot's happened in that time: a royal wedding, huge scandals, approximately 1.7 million calories of Red Robin burgers consumed by Wisconsin's offensive line. It was a long wait. But at last, we can all say goodbye to our children, inform our bosses that productivity is going to decline significantly for a few months, and stock up on spare batteries for the remote control.
College football is back, and we open with a five-day, binge-worthy extravaganza (all times ET).
Thursday, Aug. 30
No. 21 UCF at UConn (7 p.m., ESPNU)
Usually we have to wait until the end of the season to see one of the most cherished trophies in college football awarded, but in 2018, we'll get a blockbuster on the first Thursday of the season when the storied rivalry between UCF and UConn kicks off. No more talk of whether the Knights are claiming a national title. That's small potatoes. This one's all about the Civil ConFLiCT trophy. Now, if someone can just find the darned thing.
Friday, Aug. 31
San Diego State at No. 13 Stanford (9 p.m., FS1)
Let's say you're a fan of explosive rushing attacks and staying up past midnight. Well, we've got a game for you. The Aztecs and Cardinal ranked fourth and fifth in the nation, respectively, in yards per rush last season, with 75 runs between them of 20 yards or more. Bryce Love's Heisman campaign kicks off against San Diego State in what has potential to be our first wacky Pac-12 After Dark game of the season.
Saturday, Sept. 1
Florida Atlantic at No. 7 Oklahoma (Noon, Fox)
There might not be two more dynamic offensive minds in the coaching ranks than Lane Kiffin and Lincoln Riley, so the over/under of 68 in this game might be a bit low (they combined to average 87 points per game last season). For the Sooners, this begins life without Baker Mayfield. For FAU, this is the test for whether Kiffin's crew can be this season's UCF. And either way, we're bound to hear something interesting from Kiffin when it's over.
Furman at No. 2 Clemson (12:20 p.m., ACC Network)
Tune in to see the QB debut of soon-to-be star Trevor Lawrence, but stick around for Furman's quarterback, too. Paladins senior Harris Roberts is actually a student at Clemson, but thanks to a program that allows him to take engineering classes on one campus and play football on another, he'll be a winner either way.
No. 6 Washington vs. No. 9 Auburn (3:30 p.m., ABC)
There might not be a better game on the Week 1 docket than this one, which features two star QBs, legit All-America candidates on defense, and a crucial matchup for two top-10 programs. A victory for either team would be a serious statement in the early going, but in a lot of ways, Washington is playing for Pac-12 respectability. The league missed the playoff in two of the past three seasons, and the Huskies might be its best hope in 2018.
Chip Kelly and Jeremy Pruitt debut
UCLA hosts Cincinnati (7 p.m., ESPN) in Kelly's return to college football after a rocky four seasons in the NFL. Pruitt's Volunteers open against West Virginia in Charlotte, North Carolina (3:30 p.m., CBS), with Mountaineers quarterback Will Grier offering a huge test of Pruitt's defensive brilliance right off the bat. The long term for both programs looks good, but neither is likely to be an instant fix, and both of these Week 1 matchups should be intriguing.
Louisville vs. No. 1 Alabama (8 p.m., ABC)
Cardinals receiver Dez Fitzpatrick stole some headlines by bragging that Louisville's pass-catchers could win any matchup against Alabama's defense. The thing is, Fitzpatrick isn't crazy. The Cardinals have a really good receiving corps. But don't make Alabama angry. You won't like the Tide when they're angry.
Sunday, Sept. 2
No. 8 Miami vs. No. 25 LSU (7:30 p.m., ESPN)
Mark Richt has coached his share of games vs. LSU, but this will be the first time at Miami. The Canes wrapped last season on a three-game losing streak but enter 2018 ranked eighth, their best preseason ranking since 2004. Meanwhile, Ed Orgeron desperately needs to get off to a good start if he wants to avoid questions about his job status becoming the primary storyline of the Tigers' season. Oh, and don't expect a ton of points. These might be two of the most talented defenses in the country.
Monday, Sept. 3
No. 20 Virginia Tech at No. 19 Florida State (8 p.m., ESPN)
If Florida State emerges with a win and a healthy starting quarterback, this will be a massive improvement over last season's opener against Alabama. But really, the final game of opening weekend has a lot to tell us about two teams hoping to compete for an ACC title. Does Willie Taggart's new culture provide the spark to move on from last year's debacle of a season? Has Virginia Tech found answers after a brutal offseason of injuries and off-field turmoil? And will any of us be prepared to see our family and friends again after five glorious days of college football viewing?