That's right, you have one day left to bid for the companionship of Shaun White. For the less than affordable price of (enter current bid here), you get Shaun all to yourself for -- wait for it -- two life-long, memory-making hours. Two hours!
Now, before I get overly cynical about something that I could never afford, and consequently never understand, it needs to be said that this is all in the name of charity: not only does the winning bidder get a night of accommodations at Stratton Mountain in Vermont, and VIP Event Passes to the US Open which will be going on, plus a complete setup from the White Collection, including board, boots, bindings, and an outerwear outfit, but 100-percent of the proceeds benefit the international humanitarian organization, Right To Play. So, it's all for a good cause, and philanthropic snowboarding certainly beats, say, one of those $5,000-a-plate charity dinners that high society be hosting on the regular. And considering a slice of pizza at a resort costs around $18 these days, you're actually getting (and giving) a lot for a little. Relatively speaking.
That said, I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow when looking over the terms of the agreement, upon purchasing Shaun White. Like this one: "The winner will have the opportunity to take a photo as well as have two items signed. The winner must bring the items to be signed subject to reasonable limitations."
What? But I just paid thousands of dollars for Shaun! I want him to sign my elephant that I fly in, and I want to stage an elaborate photo shoot with him in a tiger suit riding my elephant! I only get one photo, and he will only sign two items?! Oh the injustice of this charitable offering!
And if you think you'll be having Shaun on all fours as you make him bark and drag him around on a leash, think again. The "participant code of conduct" states that "Participants understand they will need to behave in a reasonable and appropriate manner at all times during the experience. Violations will invalidate the experience and all participants will be asked to leave." So don't be getting any wild ideas about what you're going to be doing (or having Shaun do). And don't even think about touching his hair.
But seriously, two hours! That should be more than enough time to become total BFFs.*
Oh fo'sho.
Cash those gold bricks in and bid for Shaun here.
*All jokes aside, it really is for a good cause.