Rick Porcello throws a fastball of average velocity -- 90.2 mph in 2016, which ranked 56th of 72 qualified starting pitchers in the big leagues. In Tim Tebow's first plate appearance Wednesday, Porcello attacked him with only that pitch, without significant concern for locating the ball.
Porcello didn't aim for what is probably the most vulnerable spot in Tebow's swing -- near his hands. Rather, Porcello just pumped fastballs over the middle and outer half of the plate, which is theoretically where Tebow has the best chance to make contract right now, because that location gives him an instant more to draw his hands through his swing.
It was as if the Red Sox pitcher were a math instructor checking Tebow's competency with the most basic problems -- simple addition -- before bothering to move onto more complicated stuff, the algebra and calculus of breaking balls and pitch sequences and the knuckle-busting fastballs.
In this most basic of tests, Tebow was late with his swing, in barely fouling off a pitch. Incredibly late. He took a called third strike looking in that first plate appearance, batting eighth as the designated hitter for the Mets. And yes, the last pitch was probably a ball, but an earlier pitch in the at-bat probably should have been called a strike. In this first challenge, Tebow got baseball's version of 2+2 and had no answer.
Later, Tebow would bounce a roller into a double play. He was hit by a pitch and then doubled off first. And when he finally saw a sequence of offspeed pitches, he took three strikes.
After the game, Tebow earnestly admitted that he stood in the wrong place before his first plate appearance, near the Boston Red Sox dugout, which belies his inexperience in playing the sport. The at-bats said everything about where he is in his career: Tebow is no closer to being a major-league hitter than Porcello is to being an NFL quarterback.
Which is fine. Everybody continues to have great stuff to say about Tebow’s effort and his example to young players.
Nobody should pretend that this anything close to serious. Short of a miraculous evolution, Tebow is more like the San Diego Chicken or the Phillie Phanatic than a legitimate candidate to play Major League Baseball.